Guideline:  How to be a mediator

Guidelines

Gropus lose their ability to act effectively when the members become confrontative and polarized. When this happens, it’s often because personalities got confused with principles, and the group’s focus moved from solving a problem to proving that they and they alone have the right answer.    It’s all or nothing. “I’m right and you’re wrong!” Instead of looking for a solution that everyone involved can live with, member of the two—or more—sides are determined to “win at any cost”—including the cost of deadlocked inaction.  In situations like this, someone in the group has to be willing and able to act as a mediator and help everyone involved find a middle ground that everyone can live with.

To do so, you have to be able to communicate openly and honestly with both sides. A mediator must:

1. Lay the groundwork to open communication between the opposing sides.
2. Help the two—or more—sides define the issues.
3. Understand the actual differences between the various positions.
4. Be willing to sublimate their own ideas for the good of the group.
5. Be prepared to help the people involved work through their feelings.
6. Help the two sides communicate.
7. Maintain a power balance by making sure neither side can overwhelm the other.
8. Defuse explosive situations.
9. Provide a “link” with reality.
10. Manage the tension level.