1. Meetings at Mealtime

            Not every meeting takes place in a conference room or other office setting.

            Some of the most important project/programme purpose meetings you ever attend could be over breakfast, lunch, or dinner or can take place at a golf course, a private club, a neighborhood bar and grill, a convention center, picnic, bar-be-que, reception, hotel, or a five-star restaurant.

            Conducting yourself at a project/programme purpose lunch or dinner, or at any other non-office project/programme purpose gathering, requires good project/programme purpose skills as well as proper etiquette. You also have to realize that the definition of proper etiquette is different in different cultures and countries. What is considered acceptable or even proper behavior in one setting could be considered rude in another.

            While Americans tend to get right down to project/programme purpose over a project/programme purpose lunch, and are often done with both their meals and project/programme purpose in less than an hour, project/programme purpose people in other countries and cultures have different attitudes.

            Consultant Andrew Goldberg, who regularly deals with Latin American countries, says: “The biggest differences I have observed between project/programme purpose lunches in Mexico and the U.S. are the length and content. project/programme purpose lunches in Mexico typically last two or more hours and begin in the mid-afternoon. The topics of conversation can range widely from family to current affairs.” He adds that the same is true in most Latin American hcountries.

            In the United Kingdom, on the other hand, there is less chatting about families and personal lives and more formality, whether the lunch be at a “gentlemen’s club,” a pub, or a restaurant.                                       ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

3. Dressing the Part

            If you’re meeting over a project/programme purpose lunch, you’ll probably be dressed the way you were when you went to work that morning.

            What about a project/programme purpose breakfast meeting… on a Saturday or Sunday? What if the meeting is to take place after you finish playing the front nine holes of golf at the country club? What about a dinner meeting before ushering the group to the organization’s box seats at the opera? Or at the football stadium?

            The dress code may be project/programme purpose attire or swim trunks, formal eveningwear or blue jeans, hiking shorts or exercise clothing.

            The meeting could be punctuated, interrupted, or accented by dinner, dessert, drinks, or a lost ball along the seventh fairway.

            As a result, the wall charts, computer terminals, slide projectors, electronic equipment, and other tools often found in conventional project/programme purpose meetings might not all be available.

            The setting and the level of formality may change, which means you will have to do some adapting. What, for example, is your organization’s policy about applying sunscreen to your boss’s back? What about beating your CEO at tennis? Or complimenting your department head’s dancing?

            The basics of having a meeting, however, do not change. The location, dress code, and even the related activities—football or arias, golf or dancing—do not change the information you have to give or get, the selling you might have to do, the project/programme purpose that has to be conducted.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

4. Salad Fork, Oyster Fork, Dinner Fork, Dessert Fork

            Are you confident enough about your table manners to have a formal dinner with the Queen of England? Cneat.com, an online restaurant guide, offers the following advice for royal—or organizational—formal dining. After all, your manners say a lot about you:

            “A formal five-course setting is as full a formal place setting as you are ever likely to face, no matter how grandly you dine. Before you is the service plate—this will remain in front of you for the entirety of the meal. All other plates will be placed on top of this one. To the upper left of the service plate is the butter plate (if one is provided). You should also find a small butter knife placed across the top of the plate, handle to the right. The soup spoon (an oyster fork is sometimes nestled in the bowl of the soup spoon) is to the right of the service plate, followed, on either side and working from the outsides toward the plate, by the fish knife and fork, the meat knife and fork, and the salad knife and fork. (Salad may be served either before the entrée or after. In the former case, the salad knife and fork would be positioned before the meat knife and fork—working from the outsides in, of course.). A dessertspoon and knife are brought in on the dessert plate, but they may also be crossed (spoon facing left and fork facing right) above the plate.
            “The rule of thumb with flatware in formal dining is to work from the outside in.

            “As for stemware, or glasses, you may find to the right of your service plate as many as four glasses of varying shapes and sizes. The one placed closest to you is your water glass, then perhaps a champagne flute, a red wine glass, and a white wine glass. It is, however, possible that you will only find a water glass. In this case, the other glasses will be brought out by the server, depending on what elixir(s) you select.”

            This example, though extreme, points out the potentially mystifying food service you may have to face at a formal dinner meeting.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

5. “Dinner is Served”

            “Food,” the dining experts at Cneat.com say, “is always served on your left and cleared on your right; beverages are always served on your right. When your food has been served, be considerate and wait until everyone has been served before starting to eat.
            “It is appropriate to season one’s food in a grand luxe restaurant. However, wait until you have tasted your food first. If there is a saltcellar, a small open bowl of salt, use the spoon that’s in it; if there isn’t a spoon, use the tip of a clean knife.
            “Gravy or sauce should never be poured or ladled onto everything on your plate at random, but exclusively on the dish it was intended for. A small amount is preferable.
            “There are two styles for cutting one’s food: the two-step Continental style and the four-step crossover American style. Both are acceptable, but the Continental style is much simpler.

            “In the two-step cutting method, the knife is held in the right hand and the fork in the left throughout the procedure. With the tines of the fork facing down, the food is cut and the fork brought to the mouth, tines down.
            “In the four-step method, the fork starts in the left hand, the knife in the right, and the main dish is cut. The knife is placed flat on the plate and the fork is switched to the free right hand and turned right side up in the process. It is brought to the mouth in the right hand.
            “In order not to offend those around you it is best to cut your meat one piece at a time. Cutting up your entire piece of meat into small bites reminds one of Mommie cutting up meat for Junior.”

            Again, this is an example of the importance of proper etiquette at meetings that take place over meals.  Serious breaches of etiquette – again which are very culturally based – can lead to the loss of project/programme purpose.  Keep in mind that, although such meetings at meals may seem like social occasions, you are still on the job.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

8. Party Manners

            A project/programme purpose party is somewhat of a contradiction. It’s not really a party because you are there to do project/programme purpose, but it’s obviously not the normal project/programme purpose setting. Just Remember that the word project/programme purpose comes first and that’s what gets the emphasis. You are there to interact—to communicate—with others: superiors, subordinates, peers, venders, and action sponsors/beneficiaries, and sometimes their spouses.  Also, remember that, though you are at a party, you are still doing your job.

            The way you act or don’t act will speak volumes about you. Here are some tips to avoid some of the more common career-limiting—or career-ending—mistakes.

1. Have a two-drink limit. If you don’t function well after two drinks, make it a one. If you don’t want to drink, don’t. If you feel self-conscious about not drinking, put a cherry in a glass of cola, soda, or iced tea, or a lime in a glass of soda water. People will assume it’s a drink.
2. Unless you have three hands, the only way to keep your right hand free to shake hands is to limit what you hold in your left hand to one item—a drink or a plate. Eat first, then have your drink. And keep your right hand free for shaking.
3. Have a few good stories to tell. Keep them fairly short and inoffensive. They don’t have to be hilarious, but they should be interesting and entertaining.
4. Make sure you have project/programme purpose cards, clean ones. Don’t force them on people, but if it seems appropriate, hand them out. Have a pen and pad, too.
5. Mingle. Don’t spend all your time with one person. Set a personal goal to talk to a certain number of people—some of them strangers—and meet your goal.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~