Do not be judgmental , lest…
Being
judgmental is probably the single biggest obstacle to effective communication, especially
in work teams.
This is
not to say that you cannot make a judgment or express an opinion about what the other is
saying. To be a truly effective, however, make sure that you do not let your own opinions,
feelings, reactions, or preconceptions prevent people from delivering their entire
message. Be open and receptive until they have finished. Evaluate and judge after they
have spoken, not before. Then make sure you understand exactly what they said and what
they mean. Once they have delivered their message, it is your turn to deliver yours.
Let’s
say that a small group of subordinates comes in to tell you that a project has fallen
completely behind schedule. The deadline cannot be met. If you become angry,
condescending, or exasperated—and show it—before they finish explaining the
problem, you will put them on the defensive, and could make them angry and uncooperative.
You risk
getting them to work harder to salvage the project. They might go through the motions, but
they will probably not work at the top efficiency.
The same
can happen when you assume you know what people are going to say, and cut them off before
they can finish saying it. It is rude, and you risk alienating them as well as being
wrong.
If you
interrupt, belittle, or react before people finish talking, you destroy their trust in
you, and seriously damage your chance of effectively communicating with them. You also
seriously limit your opportunity to receive potentially valuable information.
See aslo Guidelines on How to avoid Behaviors that Endanger Trust